Well fellow Awesomes it has happened!
Today is four days before Phaedra's 13th birthday and she has been asked on her first date. The boy asked her to the 7th grade Homecoming Dance.
Say a little prayer for J-squared's sanity, the Homecoming Parade of boys has just begun.
This blog is not fitting for children, the super religious, people that do not curse, and those that object to partial nudity, primal urges, fornication, bodily functions, and selective morality. I'm just a single gal and a rowdy individual that loves to laugh. I'm accidentally sexy and Confidently Awesome. I kiss and tell! This is my life according to me.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
30 Things to Be Grateful
1. I'm grateful that when I die my friends and family will make the correct decision to only post flattering photos in my obituary.
2. I'm grateful for friends that will tell me when I have something in my freaking teeth.
3. I'm grateful for ice cream; I love that shit!
4. I'm grateful for shoes, all of 'em in my collection, and even the ones I don't own yet.
5. I'm grateful for yellow lights, without them I'd never get anywhere in traffic.
6. I'm grateful for soft t.p.
7. I'm grateful for padded bras in the winter.
8. I'm grateful that J-squared doesn't read my blog.
9. I'm grateful that my jeans are not ankle-beaters.
10. I'm grateful for Scrunchie, because as obnoxious as she is she's good for comic relief.
11. I'm grateful that you use deodorant.
12. I'm grateful that my job doesn't interfere with my social life.
13. I'm grateful that my parents never gave me a sister, I didn't have to share my shit!
14. I'm grateful for my sense of humor because I'm pretty damn funny. Well at least I crack myself up.
15. I'm grateful for those giant packets of individual serving sized ketchups.
16. I'm grateful for barley and hops.
17. I'm grateful for orphaned coins left on the sidewalk,
18. I'm grateful for self-flushing toilets because no matter how high they put the flush handle on a toilet I'm kicking my foot up there.
19. I'm grateful for Al Gore because without him you couldn't read this on the Internet.
20. I'm grateful for dresses because I'm too lazy to pull on a pair of pants.
21. I'm grateful that no one seriously annoyed the crap outta me today.
22. I'm grateful for stretchy pants.
23. I'm grateful for discount shopping.
24. I'm grateful for Pepto-Bismol and Imodium AD; nobody wants the fire-poops.
25. I'm grateful for extended family; the further away the more I'm grateful.
26. I'm grateful for fermented and crushed grapes.
27. I'm grateful for the bouncing red ball that hops from word to word in sing along songs. Without it I'd never be able to follow along.
28. There is such a thing as stupid questions, in those moments I'm grateful for Advil Liqui-Gels.
29. Because a sandwich would be pretty difficult without it, sliced bread is spectacular and I'm grateful it exists.
30. I'm grateful I'm not a Breeder because I like sleeping in on Saturday mornings.
2. I'm grateful for friends that will tell me when I have something in my freaking teeth.
3. I'm grateful for ice cream; I love that shit!
4. I'm grateful for shoes, all of 'em in my collection, and even the ones I don't own yet.
5. I'm grateful for yellow lights, without them I'd never get anywhere in traffic.
6. I'm grateful for soft t.p.
7. I'm grateful for padded bras in the winter.
8. I'm grateful that J-squared doesn't read my blog.
9. I'm grateful that my jeans are not ankle-beaters.
10. I'm grateful for Scrunchie, because as obnoxious as she is she's good for comic relief.
11. I'm grateful that you use deodorant.
12. I'm grateful that my job doesn't interfere with my social life.
13. I'm grateful that my parents never gave me a sister, I didn't have to share my shit!
14. I'm grateful for my sense of humor because I'm pretty damn funny. Well at least I crack myself up.
15. I'm grateful for those giant packets of individual serving sized ketchups.
16. I'm grateful for barley and hops.
17. I'm grateful for orphaned coins left on the sidewalk,
18. I'm grateful for self-flushing toilets because no matter how high they put the flush handle on a toilet I'm kicking my foot up there.
19. I'm grateful for Al Gore because without him you couldn't read this on the Internet.
20. I'm grateful for dresses because I'm too lazy to pull on a pair of pants.
21. I'm grateful that no one seriously annoyed the crap outta me today.
22. I'm grateful for stretchy pants.
23. I'm grateful for discount shopping.
24. I'm grateful for Pepto-Bismol and Imodium AD; nobody wants the fire-poops.
25. I'm grateful for extended family; the further away the more I'm grateful.
26. I'm grateful for fermented and crushed grapes.
27. I'm grateful for the bouncing red ball that hops from word to word in sing along songs. Without it I'd never be able to follow along.
28. There is such a thing as stupid questions, in those moments I'm grateful for Advil Liqui-Gels.
29. Because a sandwich would be pretty difficult without it, sliced bread is spectacular and I'm grateful it exists.
30. I'm grateful I'm not a Breeder because I like sleeping in on Saturday mornings.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Sitting on the Dock
I always wake up early when I'm at the cabin. Spending two and a half hours this morning sitting on the dock, watching the leaves fall, listening to the fish jump and the herons call to one another, devouring the fantastic colors of the mountainsides, feeling the warm sun on my skin, and making photographs of men spending Saturday morning fishing is good for my soul. I am unbelievably relaxed.
The men above let the current push their boat near to the dock. The man in the green waders asked, "Are you catching some sun?" I lifted up my camera and said, "Nope, I'm fishing for photos." It's the only thing we said to each other all morning while being in close proximity.
The men above let the current push their boat near to the dock. The man in the green waders asked, "Are you catching some sun?" I lifted up my camera and said, "Nope, I'm fishing for photos." It's the only thing we said to each other all morning while being in close proximity.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Art Majors
My amazing EngineerBrother has a degree with a double major in Engineering. Duh! When he was studying for his degree he'd sit at the kitchen table for hours writing and solving equations. Each equation required two whole pages of hand-written work.
One particular night he was working on multiple problems. Meanwhile, I was sitting across the room working on my Associates degree in art. I was completing a design project. I was half lying on a pile of pillows with the tv on, ripping pages out of magazines, cutting awesome designs, and gluing them to a background. I was busy just chatting away on the phone.
EngineerBrother got angry. He slammed his book shut and walked over to me. He leaned over and yelled in my face, "Not all of us can be Art majors AVERILL!!!" He stormed off to his bedroom.
Every time I think about that incident it tickles me. It takes a lot to get him worked up. Now he has an awesome career and I'm working in a shared cubical...
WHOMP-WHOMP!
One particular night he was working on multiple problems. Meanwhile, I was sitting across the room working on my Associates degree in art. I was completing a design project. I was half lying on a pile of pillows with the tv on, ripping pages out of magazines, cutting awesome designs, and gluing them to a background. I was busy just chatting away on the phone.
EngineerBrother got angry. He slammed his book shut and walked over to me. He leaned over and yelled in my face, "Not all of us can be Art majors AVERILL!!!" He stormed off to his bedroom.
Every time I think about that incident it tickles me. It takes a lot to get him worked up. Now he has an awesome career and I'm working in a shared cubical...
WHOMP-WHOMP!