Well fellow Awesomes it has happened!
Today is four days before Phaedra's 13th birthday and she has been asked on her first date. The boy asked her to the 7th grade Homecoming Dance.
Say a little prayer for J-squared's sanity, the Homecoming Parade of boys has just begun.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
30 Things to Be Grateful
1. I'm grateful that when I die my friends and family will make the correct decision to only post flattering photos in my obituary.
2. I'm grateful for friends that will tell me when I have something in my freaking teeth.
3. I'm grateful for ice cream; I love that shit!
4. I'm grateful for shoes, all of 'em in my collection, and even the ones I don't own yet.
5. I'm grateful for yellow lights, without them I'd never get anywhere in traffic.
6. I'm grateful for soft t.p.
7. I'm grateful for padded bras in the winter.
8. I'm grateful that J-squared doesn't read my blog.
9. I'm grateful that my jeans are not ankle-beaters.
10. I'm grateful for Scrunchie, because as obnoxious as she is she's good for comic relief.
11. I'm grateful that you use deodorant.
12. I'm grateful that my job doesn't interfere with my social life.
13. I'm grateful that my parents never gave me a sister, I didn't have to share my shit!
14. I'm grateful for my sense of humor because I'm pretty damn funny. Well at least I crack myself up.
15. I'm grateful for those giant packets of individual serving sized ketchups.
16. I'm grateful for barley and hops.
17. I'm grateful for orphaned coins left on the sidewalk,
18. I'm grateful for self-flushing toilets because no matter how high they put the flush handle on a toilet I'm kicking my foot up there.
19. I'm grateful for Al Gore because without him you couldn't read this on the Internet.
20. I'm grateful for dresses because I'm too lazy to pull on a pair of pants.
21. I'm grateful that no one seriously annoyed the crap outta me today.
22. I'm grateful for stretchy pants.
23. I'm grateful for discount shopping.
24. I'm grateful for Pepto-Bismol and Imodium AD; nobody wants the fire-poops.
25. I'm grateful for extended family; the further away the more I'm grateful.
26. I'm grateful for fermented and crushed grapes.
27. I'm grateful for the bouncing red ball that hops from word to word in sing along songs. Without it I'd never be able to follow along.
28. There is such a thing as stupid questions, in those moments I'm grateful for Advil Liqui-Gels.
29. Because a sandwich would be pretty difficult without it, sliced bread is spectacular and I'm grateful it exists.
30. I'm grateful I'm not a Breeder because I like sleeping in on Saturday mornings.
2. I'm grateful for friends that will tell me when I have something in my freaking teeth.
3. I'm grateful for ice cream; I love that shit!
4. I'm grateful for shoes, all of 'em in my collection, and even the ones I don't own yet.
5. I'm grateful for yellow lights, without them I'd never get anywhere in traffic.
6. I'm grateful for soft t.p.
7. I'm grateful for padded bras in the winter.
8. I'm grateful that J-squared doesn't read my blog.
9. I'm grateful that my jeans are not ankle-beaters.
10. I'm grateful for Scrunchie, because as obnoxious as she is she's good for comic relief.
11. I'm grateful that you use deodorant.
12. I'm grateful that my job doesn't interfere with my social life.
13. I'm grateful that my parents never gave me a sister, I didn't have to share my shit!
14. I'm grateful for my sense of humor because I'm pretty damn funny. Well at least I crack myself up.
15. I'm grateful for those giant packets of individual serving sized ketchups.
16. I'm grateful for barley and hops.
17. I'm grateful for orphaned coins left on the sidewalk,
18. I'm grateful for self-flushing toilets because no matter how high they put the flush handle on a toilet I'm kicking my foot up there.
19. I'm grateful for Al Gore because without him you couldn't read this on the Internet.
20. I'm grateful for dresses because I'm too lazy to pull on a pair of pants.
21. I'm grateful that no one seriously annoyed the crap outta me today.
22. I'm grateful for stretchy pants.
23. I'm grateful for discount shopping.
24. I'm grateful for Pepto-Bismol and Imodium AD; nobody wants the fire-poops.
25. I'm grateful for extended family; the further away the more I'm grateful.
26. I'm grateful for fermented and crushed grapes.
27. I'm grateful for the bouncing red ball that hops from word to word in sing along songs. Without it I'd never be able to follow along.
28. There is such a thing as stupid questions, in those moments I'm grateful for Advil Liqui-Gels.
29. Because a sandwich would be pretty difficult without it, sliced bread is spectacular and I'm grateful it exists.
30. I'm grateful I'm not a Breeder because I like sleeping in on Saturday mornings.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Sitting on the Dock
The men above let the current push their boat near to the dock. The man in the green waders asked, "Are you catching some sun?" I lifted up my camera and said, "Nope, I'm fishing for photos." It's the only thing we said to each other all morning while being in close proximity.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Art Majors
My amazing EngineerBrother has a degree with a double major in Engineering. Duh! When he was studying for his degree he'd sit at the kitchen table for hours writing and solving equations. Each equation required two whole pages of hand-written work.
One particular night he was working on multiple problems. Meanwhile, I was sitting across the room working on my Associates degree in art. I was completing a design project. I was half lying on a pile of pillows with the tv on, ripping pages out of magazines, cutting awesome designs, and gluing them to a background. I was busy just chatting away on the phone.
EngineerBrother got angry. He slammed his book shut and walked over to me. He leaned over and yelled in my face, "Not all of us can be Art majors AVERILL!!!" He stormed off to his bedroom.
Every time I think about that incident it tickles me. It takes a lot to get him worked up. Now he has an awesome career and I'm working in a shared cubical...
WHOMP-WHOMP!
One particular night he was working on multiple problems. Meanwhile, I was sitting across the room working on my Associates degree in art. I was completing a design project. I was half lying on a pile of pillows with the tv on, ripping pages out of magazines, cutting awesome designs, and gluing them to a background. I was busy just chatting away on the phone.
EngineerBrother got angry. He slammed his book shut and walked over to me. He leaned over and yelled in my face, "Not all of us can be Art majors AVERILL!!!" He stormed off to his bedroom.
Every time I think about that incident it tickles me. It takes a lot to get him worked up. Now he has an awesome career and I'm working in a shared cubical...
WHOMP-WHOMP!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Bad is Awesome
The good news is I put make-up on today for work, which I never do. The bad news is I only applied bronzer, in the dark, and I didn't blend it. So, when I got to work under the florescent lights I looked like myself in seventh grade with orange powder sitting on top of porcelain skin. For Halloween I'm a Jack-O-Lantern, not what I was going for, but okay. I guess.
When I came back from class this afternoon a student worker at the Ask Tom desk told me, "Say you look bad today."
"Umm, okay. I look bad today."
All of the students at the desk laughed. The debonaire student explained the phrase. He said, "'Say you look bad today' means you look good, really good."
I totally understand! "You look bad" is a 'retro' term from the 1980's, like Michael Jackson's Bad, which is awesome.
Look at that! I didn't even have to exhibit the Booty Bounce Walk. No! I just had to get up a half an hour early, straighten my hair, apply orange bronzer in the dark, wear tights, a fitted mini-dress, and strap 4 inch heels* to my feet for work. Wha-la, I look bad today and that's just awesome!
*For those coworkers that saw me at the Divisional Meeting this morning I temporarily changed into flats to photograph the meeting.
When I came back from class this afternoon a student worker at the Ask Tom desk told me, "Say you look bad today."
"Umm, okay. I look bad today."
All of the students at the desk laughed. The debonaire student explained the phrase. He said, "'Say you look bad today' means you look good, really good."
I totally understand! "You look bad" is a 'retro' term from the 1980's, like Michael Jackson's Bad, which is awesome.
Look at that! I didn't even have to exhibit the Booty Bounce Walk. No! I just had to get up a half an hour early, straighten my hair, apply orange bronzer in the dark, wear tights, a fitted mini-dress, and strap 4 inch heels* to my feet for work. Wha-la, I look bad today and that's just awesome!
*For those coworkers that saw me at the Divisional Meeting this morning I temporarily changed into flats to photograph the meeting.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Weather-gasm
I was sitting in my class, alright I excused myself from class and was in the restroom. When I went back to class nearly everyone had left. I was only in the restroom for a minute!
The proctor from Appling Road Middle School told us there was a tornado coming and we couldn't stay there. So what's the safest thing to do? That's right send 100 people out in the storm to their cars!
I made it safely to J-squared's while trying to ensure the safety of everyone in my family. Yes, talking on the phone in a lightning storm. Duh!
However, I wasn't planning on being at J-squared's tonight so I didn't pack a bag. Is that a Walk of Shame if I wash and wear the same clothes to work tomorrow that I wore today?
That's a weather-gasm in Memphis for y'all.
The proctor from Appling Road Middle School told us there was a tornado coming and we couldn't stay there. So what's the safest thing to do? That's right send 100 people out in the storm to their cars!
I made it safely to J-squared's while trying to ensure the safety of everyone in my family. Yes, talking on the phone in a lightning storm. Duh!
However, I wasn't planning on being at J-squared's tonight so I didn't pack a bag. Is that a Walk of Shame if I wash and wear the same clothes to work tomorrow that I wore today?
That's a weather-gasm in Memphis for y'all.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
A Good Show
In 1964 Elvis bought FDR's 'Floating White House' the USS Potomac. Elvis, being an extremely charitable man, donated the yacht to Danny Thomas to benefit St. Jude. The yacht was so old, difficult to maintain, and in such disrepair that Danny Thomas was not interested in keeping it. The yacht was put up for auction. Ever the Hollywood mind Danny Thomas put on a good show for the people and the auct
ion. In order to save money he only had one side of the yacht painted, the side facing the cameras for the photo shoot with Elvis.
That being said, please don't stand behind me today. If you do, please don't judge me. I'm not old or difficult to maintain, well perhaps a tad high maintenance. I'm not in a state of disrepair either. I only had enough time in the shower this morning to shave the fronts of my legs.
That being said, please don't stand behind me today. If you do, please don't judge me. I'm not old or difficult to maintain, well perhaps a tad high maintenance. I'm not in a state of disrepair either. I only had enough time in the shower this morning to shave the fronts of my legs.
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