The Best Compliments

My second cousin always says, "You get the best compliments."

Today is no exception. 

On the average of twice a week I walk up the road to the local joint to pick up a salad. For years my friend Nate, behind the counter, hooks me up with the salad. He always says, "My Boo ain't gonna go hungry."

I walk up the road today and he tells me, "Somebody ordered your salad. They asked for me so I jus knew it was you. I gave you my phone number on your salad box last week. Said for you to text me. It wasn't you that texted back - it was somebody said, 'This isn't who you think it is." I tried to be slick and get you to talk to me but it wasn't you." 

He leans forward, "Can I have your number?" 

But before he got 'number' out of his mouth he knocked over an entire display on the check-out counter.

"Mane, you make me so nervous talking to you I knocked everything over."

I am beyond flattered. It's funny, I still see myself as that ugly, pig-nosed, super-awkward girl from middle school and the girl I was in high school who never once got asked on a date. But the truth is I've got Brothers out here tripping over themselves trying to work up the courage to ask for my phone number. That beats the hell outta the self-esteem of the teenage girl I used to be who always thought she was repulsive to the opposite sex. 

If I Only Had A Heart

Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz is who I wanted to be when I grew up. She went on a fabulous, colorful, once in a lifetime adventure in the process gaining friends, all while wearing the most spectacular sparkle shoes. Plus, Dorothy had all of the characteristics of intelligence, courage, and love that her new found friends were so desperately searching for. Her courage, love, and resourcefulness only exceeded on the adventure with her new friends. During her quest to return to the dreary Kansas prairie she learned she had everything she already wanted and needed at home.  

I have always thought of myself as a Dorothy-type character. We are both from Kansas, love making new friends, and we both love our vibrant, sparkle shoes that lead us home.  

For all of the years I dated his father I lived with the belief that this boy hated me. He regularly voiced his anger towards me being in their life.

It wasn't until I had been removed from the house for many months that I realized how much I am truly loved and love them. Fortunately my relationships with the children has survived, mended, and gotten stronger. The honest, heartfelt emotions that were once difficult to say in the past have become easy.

Last night Nick had an Emergency Room trip when the bathroom mirror detached from the wall and fell on him. A completely random freak accident that slit open his forearm and knee, requiring stitches. 

Today, I stopped by to check on him. With a simple gesture, Nick said more to me than he's ever done in the years that I've known him. He ran back to his bedroom and came back with a small lapel pin in the shape of a heart and marked with the gold Boy Scout insignia. 

In Boy Scouts when a young man earns a higher rank they customarily honor their mother or the most influential woman in their life by pinning her with a Mother Pin. I knew the small, red heart he brought back from his bedroom is the Mother Pin for the Life Scout rank. 

"That's great, Nick! I'm so proud of you!" I said to him. I am still just as proud as I was on May 18th when I sat in the audience at the ceremony to see him earn the rank of Life Scout. I hold the Mother Pin out to return it to him. 

Like a Jedi performing a mind trick, he waves his hand at me to signify that he has given the pin to me. 

"Are you sure?"

He waves his hand at me again and bows his head. 

"Really, Nick?" 

He bows again and pushes his right hand up towards me, palm side facing towards the ceiling. 

My eyes well up with tears and I can't keep them from bubbling over the edge. I'm smiling, laughing, and crying all at the same time, "I'm crying because I'm so happy." 

For the first time in four years he permits me to hug him and in the biggest twist of events, stitches and all, he returns my hug. 

His action means more than he knows. I don't know what I have done to deserve this, but today without the pomp and circumstance of the Boy Scout ceremony Nick presented me with this pin.

 That moment holds all of the importance of the ceremony, but it means more to me because Nick made this decision on his own, in his own time, sharing with me his respect and affection.  

Today, I learned that I am not Dorothy at all. For all of these years I've been the Tin Man. I've had a heart all along but, as The Wizard of Oz explains, "A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others." 

Today, my heart is full.

Sunshine, Soccer, and Sprinkles

The boy I tutor doesn't like to go outside. He says he'd rather work on the computer inside than get sweaty outside. But today, something changed. After working on sentences he asked, "Can we go outside?"

He brought his semi-new soccer ball with us outside. This is not the same little boy from May. He used to scowl to go outside to pass the soccer ball. We've been working on his dribbling, kicking, and passing skills. 

Without a word he dropped the soccer ball on the ground and started running while kicking it forward. He ran all the way to the gate of their gated community and back to the house. A month ago he couldn't dribble to himself!! 

Before I left for the day he looked at me and said, "Miss Averill, can we go outside again and kick the soccer ball to the fence and back?"

"Yes, but it's raining. Do you still want to go?"

At that moment the sun burst out from

behind the clouds. We were both looking outside and in amazement he says, "Wow! I didn't know the sun could do that!"

I responded, "God can do anything. Isn't that what you learn in school?"

"Yes, but I've never seen it like that before."

He grabbed his soccer ball and took it back outside to dribble to the fence. It is sprinkling on him, leaving wet specks on his glasses, but he's keeping up with the ball. His black pants, covered in yellow Batman symbols, and his space cat t-shirt are making me giggle as I watch and encourage him, admiring his freedom. When I meet him back in the driveway I ask him, "What was it like to play in the sprinkling rain?"

"I forgot it was even raining because I was working so hard, but I like it. I've never played in the rain before." 

I've seen God work like the sun coming through the clouds. I've seen it in him over the last four months. 

Emotions and The Unknown

I've been emotional this weekend. Last night I got my feelings hurt and my ego bruised. Today I've been wallowing in self-pity because of my hurt feelings. 

Today, as my friend and I were walking back from lunch we saw commotion at the corner of Mynders at Patterson. There is a person on the ground surrounded by students and police officers. Traffic is rubber necking, police are directing traffic and sirens are filling the air with screams.  

A student walking the opposite direction tells us, "He passed out while driving. They've moved his car and pulled him out of it. They're doing CPR."

We are on the opposite side of the street as we walk past. The student's Chacos are fashioned to his feet. He's wearing khakis and a long sleeved, cornflower blue button-up. His hair is pushed back from his face and his skin on his face is blue. 

The firemen jump out of the slowing fire truck ripping open flat, white, square, paper packages, kneeling on the ground next to this kid. The gathered crowd of shocked and curious onlookers is growing. They're asking each other, "Do you know what happened? What's going on?" 

As I slipped on my stretchy pants this morning I never thought there was a possibility I could be laying on a street corner with my life in limbo. I'm sure this student did not have that thought either. My friend and I walk towards our office building and tears begin falling for this kid; whatever I am dealing with is nothing. Nothing! 

Please say a prayer for this kid and let the people you love know they are loved. Give them extra hugs tonight. 

II Corinthians

As many, many of you know, I was raised Catholic - yep, I'm a "dirty knee bender," fallen, unpracticing, "unChristian" heathen. I've been called it all including "Mary worshiper" because I was given the pleasure of growing up in the Bible Belt. I'm about to admit something else that will make some of you place me at the top of your prayer list: I don't know the Bible. 

Yep, a real life, living and breathing unchurched sinner is in your midsts. 

However, tutoring this kid, who goes to a private Christian school, I am forced to memorize Bible verses with him. I usually sing them to him, like the songs I remember from my Sunday School or Catholic Church Camp. Last week it was, "The heavens declare the glory of God..." The poor kid always looks at me like he's terrified, but the first couple of times he repeats it back to me I can faintly hear him humming the song I sang. 

This week his scripture, he always corrects me to say Bible verse, is "May the grace of The Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you."

At this point I whisper, 'also with you; You may go in peace now to love and serve The Lord,' because that is how a priest dismisses mass. 

I complete the verse by telling him, "Eleven Corinthians 13:14"

"Uh, Miss Averill?"

"Yes."

"I think that's supposed to be Second Corinthians, not eleven."

"Yep, yep it is. Thank you for correcting me."

#imgonnalearnyou #aimingforstraightAs #unchurched #imasinner #ifollowthegoldenrule #churchhumor #ratedG

Diary of a Spinster: Here Comes the Bride

Today I found a wedding dress, tried it on, fell in love with it, and bought it. 

The bride is the daughter of  Real Life Superman and The Silver Fox. She is a graduate of the University of Memphis with a bachelors degree in English Literature and History with a minor in Sociology. She has no plans, date set, or groom, but she revels in her awesome life and her preparedness for all of the possibilities and spontenaity in her future.

Moving to Memphis

As I spent the weekend driving to Memphis I thought it was a serendipitous event that every radio station along the interstate just happened to be playing Elvis music. There I was in my Dad's Maroon Taurus following him in the Uhaul that carried all of my earthy possessions to Memphis. Once I arrive in T-county I must admit my surprised that the Elvis music was not a good sign from the universe but a tribute to and remembrance of Elvis' death. That was 16 years ago today. 

Tomorrow is the 38th anniversary of Elvis' death.