Naming the Puppy

When I first start dating a new man I always refer to him as "the puppy." There is not an actual dog. 

You know when you were a child and a dog might follow you home, you don't know if you will keep the puppy, if you'll get along with the puppy, if he'll run away, or if he'll stay for more than a week. Then all of a sudden you start calling it a name.  The puppy has a real name!  The next thing you know he also has toys, a bowl embossed with his name on it, you have to take him on walks, he is house trained, and he is sleeping in the bed with you. You begin to love the puppy. At this point you have officially adopted a dog, or in my case a man.  

In order to keep it simple during the trial period or first few months of dating I give a man a nickname. I only refer to him by his nickname.  Absolutely under no circumstances should a man be referred to by his given name unless you are planning on keeping him.  Thus, you name the puppy.