Sports Brawl

#TheSilverFox

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She's been exercising religiously and I've been bugging her to get a sports bra. "I don't need one, my breasts aren't large." 

I warn her, "If you continue to run without one you're only going to have to flash a kneecap to earn some beads."

We went to Walmart on our vacation. She says she $7 for the Walmart clearance sports bra is too much. She's frugal. I tell her not to worry about it. I have some Nike and brand new Fabletics sports bras in my drawer at home she can have. 

When I come home from work today she is dancing to her exercise DVD in front of the television in the living room. The TV also happens to be directly infront of the giant picture window and front door with a sidelight window. She's gyrating like Ann Margret in the hottest dance scene of "Viva Las Vegas." 

She is only wearing a bra and panties. 

I tell her, "I'll take a picture of you." 

She replies, "Nobody will believe you."

She comes into my bedroom, sweaty from her DVD, "How do you take off a sports bra when you're sweaty?"

"That's the joke about exercise," I twist and contort my arms and look like a dog chasing her own tail, "It's a sports brawl!"

I pull the sports bras out of my drawer. She struggles into one, putting it on backwards and walks down the hallway. The sports bra is only a holster, everything supposed to be in is out. "Hey Paulie," she opens the door to the spare bedroom where they keep their computer., "Averill gave me this sports bra, what do you think?" 

"Geez! I'm putting this on the Internet."

"How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, looks like I got a free show."

"Nobody will believe you."

That's my Mom. 

#GrownFolksBusiness