Sunday, February 5, 2017
When #TheSilverFox found out I put their Groundhog's Day photo on the internet she told me, "Take my face off that damn internet!"
She laughed when I told her that I get more comments and responses for stories I tell about my parents than I do for myself. She likes the attention, she tells people to follow my blog about her. (It's just a neglected blog about my life).
I told her if she doesn't do anything else outrageous this week I'll tell that doozie of a story from January 2nd of this year. She threatened, "Do it! I'm old enough to say what I want and don't care."
So here it goes!
We spent the day shopping, #RealLifeSuperman chauffeuring us around Cordova. We were on a mission for her to find the perfect comforter, in the perfect colors, with the perfect pattern, with the perfect quilting design, with absolutely no idea of what the check boxes to perfection contained. This is my Mom in a nut shell, on the search for perfection, but she knows it when she sees it. Just like when she spotted my Dad for the first time.
I was standing in line at Marshall's to make a $.70 clearance purchase when Dad walks up and says, "Don't worry about it, I'll pay. You go walk with your mother and make sure she doesn't get into trouble."
Foreshadowing is always subtle when it happens in real life.
I give him my Valentine's garland and run after Mom, who is well on the way to Stein Mart. It is raining as we walk under the outdoor mall's portico's. Before is there is a Kroger Employee standing next to their sliding doors. She is smoking.
The Silver Fox quips to the Kroger Employee, "I thought the law was no smoking within 50 feet of a public entrance."
The Kroger Employee responded something inaudible and half under her breath.
My Mom turns to the Kroger Employee and yells, "FUCK YOU!!!"
We are only two days into the new year and not only is she dropping F's and U's, but it's a verbal altercation with a complete stranger. And, Dad just told me to make sure she didn't get into any trouble. Here I am failing.
I text both of my brothers, Trey rarely if ever responds. Blaise is gung-ho for it. He completely agrees with her.
The Silver Fox is a loose cannon! At this point I don't know what she is capable of saying or doing. I stay quiet and scarce. I see Dad 15 minutes later, he's sitting in the furniture section of Home Goods while waiting on us. I tell him the story. He just shrugs his shoulders, "You know how she is."
There is a rainbow across the sky, as we get into the car, I take it as my sign to say something, "Hey Mom, do you often get into verbal altercations with strangers on the second day of the year?"
She thinks it is hysterical, "Well, she was smoking in an undesignated area. You are extremely allergic to smoke. And, I've finally reached that old lady age where I don't care what I say and I can say anything."
Happy birthday Silver Fox! Cheers to being the age to say whatever you want, plus one.
#OneMoreYearOfPersnickityDown #ManyMoreToGo #ISignedHerBirthdayCardWithPostItsSoSheCouldReuseIt