Thursday, December 19, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
For those people not from Memphis, Bargain Hunt is a discount store that has dates on the price tag. The older the price tag the bigger the discount. If you see an item you want, you better pick it up right then and there or it'll be gone.
This evening Pan, Phae and I are in the kitchen chatting about dating and boyfriends.
Random dating advice from Phaedra, "Boyfriends are like Bargain Hunt. If you find a good deal, you GET that good deal!!"
Somehow, I feel vindicated. She has been listening to all of my lectures and teachings about discount shopping and dating nice guys.
She has taken her lessons and manifested and condensed them into a holy grail.
The spirit is strong in this one. She has made me so proud!
As a 'professional' babysitter, while I was in college the first time, I would screech up The Mountain, inevitably late to their home over looking Huntington. The man of the house would usually be standing on the back patio or waiting inside of the kitchen with the door wide open, "Look what the cat drug in this morning."
It was obvious, I stayed out too late the night before.
Every morning I was late. I would throw open the door to my speeding silver bullet. As I run up the hill from the driveway inside the house I knew I was about to get a lecture.
From the darkness he would call out a warning, "Catting around will get you in trouble."
Apparently, even after fifteen years my lesson has not been learned.
Every Sunday night I stay up too late. Monday morning I drag out of bed thinking, "If I can make it seven and a half hours of work I can go back to bed."
Today is no exception. I literally rolled out of bed, patted my hair back in the pony tail I wore to sleep, and threw on some clothes that may or may not look decent. I washed my face, sort of, with baby wipes and applied black, raccoon rings of war paint around my eyes. With the cigarette smoke, a tell tale sign of a late night from being in the studio, wafting from my hair I am somehow proud of myself and think, "This is a victory."
Even though I look like a Grade C Hooker - yes, I know what a Grade A Hooker looks like, we saw one at the corner of National and Jackson Ave on the way home at 1 am this morning AND I've watched Pretty Woman like a million times, this certifies me as an expert - stumbling around the office attempting to make coffee, the Veterans Affair's student worker is throwing game. This young boy has got me giggling like I ain't got not one damn lick if sense!
"Good morning B. How was your weekend?"
"It couldn't have been good, I spent it without you. The question is, 'How did I survive the weekend without you?' It was miserable."
I was stunned, not expecting this from him. Does he see the sleep still in the corner of my eye?
Because he is not serious he had me laughing so hard!
Perhaps I should finally learn the lesson from so long ago. That lesson is that I clearly need to stop looking so damn good; perhaps a shower and less war paint tomorrow.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Running wildly around the house, curling a ton of hair, accidentally dropping and burning the child with the curling iron, applying make-up, secretly shedding a tear or two, and a hurried photo shoot as Phaedra goes to Eighth Grade Homecoming.
Phaedra is applying my red lipstick as she gets ready for Eighth Grade Homecoming. This is the third homecoming I've helped her get ready by doing her hair and make-up.
Just another ordinary Friday night in December.
In sixth grade she was Disney Princess in a black and purple dress, that I picked out without consultation. Last year she picked the 'Mermaid' dress. It was the very first and only dress she tried on. This year I took her shopping. In the first three hour outing she tried on 30 dresses! She teared up and nearly cried on the way home because she thought she wasted my time. Clearly Phaedra was raised by a man who only shops on Ninja Missions. Last night she drags J2 out to five stores only to purchase the very first of the 30 dresses she tried on.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Last month or last year by admitting my past fashion faux pas I put myself out on Main Street. I admitted to not only owning but wearing stone washed Kelly green jeans.
Finally, what y'all have been waiting for, the much asked for proof!
Straight from a family photo album: Family vacation, Lake Erie, Pennsylvania on our way back from Niagara Falls, August 8, 1995.
I do not know what happened to those pants, but I still have the fabulous polyester baseball shirt.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Last week a coworker told me she bases her daily outfit on the phrase, "What would Averill wear?"
Today, I dressed like The Queen of the Bohemian Hobos.
Coworker is going to have a hard time keeping up with the wild ideas that run through my head and how my hands run through my closets.
Belt: thrift store find
Boots: The North Face from 6pm.com