Sunday, September 25, 2016

Eric Hughes Band Indigogo

When my youngest brother, Blaise, was stationed overseas, in the Middle East and Africa, he was missing and craving a little bit of home. Blaise asked me to send him some Memphis Music. Specifically, he asked me to send him all of The Eric Hughes Band CDs that I could get my hands on. 

When Mr. Eric heard of this he donated all of his previous CDs to my brother, who is also his brother in arms (USMC). Every time I think about this I get choked up; I am forever grateful to Mr. Eric. 

As a token of appreciation, for the love of #MemphisBlues, and to support for Mr Eric et al I am donating to The Eric Hughes Band Indiegogo campaign. If you feel so inclined, here is the link:

#MemphisMusic #BluesMusic #EricHughesBand #MemphisFamous

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Oh My God, Averill! Your Legs!!

This morning, with her back turned toward me  a coworker was talking to her supervisor. Just as I stood-up to walk away from my cubicle she turns to face me and exclaims, "Oh My GOD, AVERILL! YOUR LEGS!!"

Now, I know this coworker. She is always making slick, unnecessary comments about my work clothes and my lunch-break exercise clothes. She usually turns me in to her supervisor for my clothing. Her supervisor goes and tells it to my supervisor. Then, I get told my skirts are too short. I am not Bridget Jones; I did not forget my skirt. 

So, when this coworker makes her comment, I know she is about to tell on me because she thinks my mini-dress is too short. 

However, this morning I was on the ball. I knew it was coming. I immediately responded to her, "Oh my gosh!" A smile naturally spreads across my entire face, "Thank you so much for noticing all of the hard work I've been putting into my exercise." 

I walk away. 

#MicDrop #HighFiveBitches #ThoseLegsThough #ConfidentlyAwesome #ExerciseMotivation #ICan

Monday, September 12, 2016

Crazy Like That

Y'all, my parents!!! These two are crazy!!! 

With a couple of stops, I got home from work and class at 9:30pm. 

I packmule my body with all of the stuff from my car, struggling to get it all strapped to myself in one trip. I let myself into the garage. 

There, parked in the dark garage, inside the car, the doors and windows closed, with the glow from the car radio illuminating them, are my parents. 

#TheSilverFox says, "We were neckin'. Glad he got his pants back on before you walked in the door."

"Uh-huh," #RealLifeSuperman chuckles, "Not likely. We were finishing our book on tape."

These two have a stereo! These two have an entire house to sit together to finish their #BookOnTape!! But, they choose to sit in the car together like a couple of teenagers in love! 

A few months ago, he accompanied her to a doctor's appointment. The doctor asks them, "How long have you been together?"

My Dad is the first to respond, "Thirty-nine years of marriage, plus four years of dating - not nearly enough time yet." 

#NotNearlyEnoughTime #CrazyLikeThat

Monday, August 22, 2016

I Rescind It, Again

just walked through the door at home. That woman I call my mother #TheSilverFox greets me from her Lazy Boy, "Hey. What are you doing?"
"I just came home from the music video shoot."
"Oh, yeah," she says like she forgot.
"Wanna see what I wore?"
I walk into the living room.
"You ONLY wore that top?"
"You said it was a dress! You said it was a cute dress!"
"It's a top! A top!"
"Mom, it's a dress! I wore more clothes than the rest of the girls in the video."

Compared to the other video chicks, I'm dressed for church! At the very least, my dress is appropriate for engagement photos in a field. When the Dulaa, the rap artist said to me, "asking everyone to wear western style attire" my mind went Faith Hill "Breathe" not Daisy Duke. I'll know better for next time. 

She huffs, "What else did you do today?"
"I had my first class tonight."
"You DIDN'T wear THAT to class did you?"
"No, don't worry. I wore something much sluttier."

#CountryGirlStyle #ModestlyAwesome #ConfidentlyAwesome

I Take It Back

I take it all back what I said. #TheSilverFox picked out the perfect dress for my very first #CountryMusicRapVideo with Dulaa & Nancy Apple 

#ConfidentlyAwesome #RapVideoDanceChick #MemphisMusic

Do Not Trust The Silver Fox

Three reasons why I do not trust #TheSilverFox:

1. There was no full-length mirror when I tried on this dress and she put on the sales tactics. 

2. I asked her if it was see-through. She said, "No! Just wear some type of slip. It's so cute!! You have to get it!!! You'll regret it if you don't!!" 

This dress is 153% opac! You can see my insides!!! I'm wearing some sort of Bridget Jones underclothing contraption and it's hot!! 

3. "Mom, what about the length? Is is too short?"

"No! Put your arms down. It's perfect. The skirt is longer than your arms."

Mom did not take into consideration that I have T-Rex length arms. If I dance in this dress....well, I'll just quote Jeff on this one, "You gotta shave to wear that dress, and I'm not saying you'll have to shave your legs."

#DontTrustTheSilverFox #GoodThingIm78PercentLegs

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Walk A Mile In My Shoes

I'm really bad about holding on to memories through objects. Like these pairs of shoes from the back of my closet. The white ones were the pair I wore to graduate high school. Yeah, they were incredibly stylish then. Like, Wow! For real!  The black, Sam & Libby Mary Janes were my absolute favorite pair of shoes from Junior through Senior year of high school. Have I worn them since? Yeah, but probably only as part of Halloween costumes. Why do I have them now? They both look awful, dated, old, used. It's just silly to keep them. 

The memories that go along with these shoes are vibrant, fun, exciting. I remember them new. Those memories represent unending possibility, a life to live, and experience to gather. Those shoes were the first time in my life that I feel like me. In high school I was fat, yeah then too. I couldn't wear the fashions in style: knee socks wouldn't fit over my muscular calves - but that didn't stop me from trying, Guess, Express, and Mud jeans didn't come in sizes that fit over my hips and around my stomach. I mostly wore men's clothing, and tight turtle necks to accentuate the chest, because I thought that's all that fit. That was me. But, shoes always fit. When I strutted the hallways in these platforms I felt in command, even stylish. That's saying a lot for the chick that wore stonewashed, green, cut-off, jean shorts. 

I still have those memories; I definitely have the experiences. The shoes have seen miles, but it's time for me to let go of these sentimental relics of my past. 

#WalkAMileInMyShoes #DiaryOfAFatGirlThatNeverGrewUp #ConfidentlyAwesome #ThoseShoesAreOldEnoughToBeRetro