Saturday, July 23, 2016

Walk A Mile In My Shoes

I'm really bad about holding on to memories through objects. Like these pairs of shoes from the back of my closet. The white ones were the pair I wore to graduate high school. Yeah, they were incredibly stylish then. Like, Wow! For real!  The black, Sam & Libby Mary Janes were my absolute favorite pair of shoes from Junior through Senior year of high school. Have I worn them since? Yeah, but probably only as part of Halloween costumes. Why do I have them now? They both look awful, dated, old, used. It's just silly to keep them. 

The memories that go along with these shoes are vibrant, fun, exciting. I remember them new. Those memories represent unending possibility, a life to live, and experience to gather. Those shoes were the first time in my life that I feel like me. In high school I was fat, yeah then too. I couldn't wear the fashions in style: knee socks wouldn't fit over my muscular calves - but that didn't stop me from trying, Guess, Express, and Mud jeans didn't come in sizes that fit over my hips and around my stomach. I mostly wore men's clothing, and tight turtle necks to accentuate the chest, because I thought that's all that fit. That was me. But, shoes always fit. When I strutted the hallways in these platforms I felt in command, even stylish. That's saying a lot for the chick that wore stonewashed, green, cut-off, jean shorts. 

I still have those memories; I definitely have the experiences. The shoes have seen miles, but it's time for me to let go of these sentimental relics of my past. 

#WalkAMileInMyShoes #DiaryOfAFatGirlThatNeverGrewUp #ConfidentlyAwesome #ThoseShoesAreOldEnoughToBeRetro

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

An Opportunity With Felix Cordova


At Slider Inn tonight I met Felix Cordova of 98.5 New Mix FM. He said he likes my personality and asked me to appear on stage for with him at the Southern Hot Wing Festival on the afternoon of Saturday, April 23, 2016. On stage we will give away a pair of tickets to the Beale Street Music Festival.

He wants to build a relationship between his FM station and Radio-Memphis' internet radio station. 

I'll definitely take this opportunity to suppress my fear of public speaking to an audience. 

A Speaker of Truth


I've continued to keep quiet, but this evening I needed to get some perspective so I had a conversation with #RealLifeSuperman. I am pretty bothered by someone who has refused to even utter one word to me yet continues to invent and spread lies about me. My Dad is calm, level headed, he always finds the best in everyone, he's given the shirt off of his back to help those in need. My Dad said, "Do not worry because she is as unattractive as the stories people tell about her," he pauses for a moment and then under his breath he utters, "rode hard." 

My Dad is a prophet and a truth speaker. 

Thursday, April 28, 2016


I bought a highly recommended pair of tennis shoes called Hoka's for myself last Thursday. I received them in the mail yesterday. Brand new, fresh out of the box this morning, before I even had a chance to try them on I ask The Silver Fox to take a look to see if she likes them so I can order her a pair for Mother's Day. She says, "Oh those are so pretty!" They are purplish, which is one of her favorite colors. 

She scurries to put on socks. "Where did you go with my shoes?" she hollars through the early morning, quiet house. 

Real Life Superman is sitting at the kitchen table eating his Raisin Bran and observing. She finds me, takes the shoes, slides the Hoka's on her feet, ties the laces, stands up, looks at me, and says "What are you waiting around for? You aren't getting these back!"

She leaves me standing there barefooted waiting to put on my shoes. I look at him. He gives me the knowing shrug that tells me, "They are hers now."

Hoka-Pocus, they're gone! 

Happy Mother's Day!

#TheSilverFox #Hoka #RealLifeSuperman #HokaPocustheyregone

Sunday, April 24, 2016


I'm sitting silently in my car, in the driveway, illuminated only by the glow of my cellphone while I delete emails. 


My car bounces and lurches foward!

My keys are in my lap!

If a mountain lion is sitting on my roof, I'll lose my bowels right here in the driver's seat! I swear he's going to open my roof like a tin of sardines to get this Kroger rotisserie chicken that I'm about to carry in the house. 


It's only Rick Ross, the Cat Nip Drug Cartel Lord kitty from next door. 

Remember last year when The Silver Fox and Real Life Superman planted cat nip in the backyard? And there was the neighbor's cat that would stand near it and guard it? That's Rick Ross, only now he's huge and his drug field has multiplied. 

I still hope he doesn't take my rotisserie chicken. 

I'll make a run for it anyway.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Day Job Frustrations

Last week at work was perfect. 

This week is very different.

A coworker I back-up, as in I do her work when she is out of the office, took off the entire week to meet her eHarmony boyfriend for the first time....without notifying me that she'd be on vacation. Our supervisor told me yesterday that coworker said she had notified me and we reviewed. None of which happened, not even an email. I said so. 

Over a month ago she was also told to update her procedures to include step-by-step instructions that will help others that back her up. Those procedures have not been updated.  

As for the eHarmony boyfriend, he was a no-show. She got catphished. 

After telling our supervisor yesterday that she'd be back at work today the coworker texted our supervisor this morning to let her know that she is still taking off the entire week. 

#thisiswhywecanthavenicethings #DayJob

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

A/B Honor Roll

The little boy I tutor earned A/B Honor Roll again last six weeks. He kept it a secret from me. He didn't tell me, didn't even let on.

Can you guess why he didn't tell me?

Because his Dad tells him, "For every A/B Honor Roll you earn you owe Miss Averill a feet massage to thank her for helping you to study." That little boy is terrified he's actually going to have to rub my feet. 

#ABHonorRoll #IRockatFourthGrade #nowgetinmyarchrealgoodwithyourlittlefingers #feetmassage