Friday, March 27, 2015
I hear the The Silver Fox in the kitchen after coming home from work. I wobble in there holding the side of my head that feels like it is collapsing from a sinus headache. Her back is to me. The entire back of her shirt is completely see-through!!
"Mom! You're getting slutty today!"
"No! Jasmine came up to me at work and said my shirt was sheer and I told her, 'Don't you give me that! My shirt is light weight but it's completely solid!' Now you're telling me it's sheer too."
"Mom, I can see your bra right through your shirt!"
"Paul, is my shirt see-through?"
He's busying himself loading stuffed peppers into Tupperware for next week's sack lunches and gives his standard, "Ehhh-eh ehhh." Which means, anything from 'I'm not paying attention' to 'I don't know about fashion,' or 'It's just how it is, I thought that's how you wanted it,' you know the safe answer.
"Mom, that poor Jasmine is probably thinking you're a crazy old bat that doesn't even know what you're wearing!
"Next thing you know your employees are going to think they can wear sheer clothing to work too. Go stand in the light so I can take your picture."
She poses, "Let me see it!" she demands. "Oh well. It's not that bad.You can delete that picture any time now. I still say it's not that bad."
It's funny how with all of this laughter my headache and prolapsed cranium has disapated. But, I still say, The Silver Fox in her Emperors New Clothes is going to have that Christian store looking like a dance club on Saturday night! Eww-op! Eww-op!
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Moving back into my parents house at this age has some real advantages. Like when I come home late they always leave a light on for me. Or this morning when I was running late for work and ran through the kitchen to find that my lunch was already made. Or this evening when I came home from work and class to find that dinner was left warming for me. That is all so very cool and appreciated.
I fixed myself a plate of crockpot roast beef and sit down at the kitchen table to eat supper. The Silver Fox wakes up from her nap and moseys into sit at the kitchen table. While she and I are talking, Real Life Superman comes into the kitchen and slides into a chair. All of a sudden he stands up, revealing that he is only wearing tidy whiteys. He pulls those jokers up like Ed Grimly-style revealing the Full Monty and disappears into the garage looking for a toothpick. I look at The Silver Fox. She looks at me. We burst out laughing. Then I say, "I didn't know I was going to get dinner and a show."
"Well, if you weren't here he'd probably just be buck naked."
Moving back in with my parents has some real advantages, others are just eye-opening experiences that no child should endure.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Last week, when Max was in town, it also happened to be his older brother Allister's birthday. Auntie Averill hates wrapping presents. I'm the person that throws a birthday gift in any old recycled gift bag, no matter the decoration or holiday on the bag. If your gift is on-time and wrapped it is a miracle!
Last week I took Allister's birthday gift out to my parent's house because The Silver Fox offered to wrap it and deliver it to the birthday party. Yes!!
The Silver Fox had Max wrap the gift as one of their activities to occupy this busy little four year old's time. Max picked out the color of the wrapping paper. Max determined how much paper to use. Max taped the paper. It's not bad for four years old. When it was all done TSF asked Max if they should include a bow. Max, of course was ecstatic to add a red bow. He took off the protective paper and had that bow slapped on the gift before she knew it. At this point he turns to her and says, "I think Al likes all the colors."
Of course, as a good Gran will do, she let Max put as many bows as he wanted to decorate Allister's 11th birthday gift.
Max was unbelievably proud of his new wrapping skills and delighted to show them off at the birthday party.
Happy birthday Allister!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Some times I miss those winter days of going to high school in West Virginia. You know with real snow and actually getting snowed in. Since Memphis was hit by an ice and snow storm last night, work was cancelled today. It's a Snow Day!!!
|Our front yard and the neighbor's house. It's real snow!|
Memphis has real snow. That means Snow Cream and reminiscing of those snowed in slumber parties with one of my high school BFF!
|I have Wookie fur on my boots! No Wookie's were actually harmed in the making of these boots.|
|Vintage Tupperware is used as the vehicle to capture snow.|
What do you know? It only takes five minutes at the most to make, serve, and devour the Snow Cream. It's delicious!!
Here is Hugh's recipe:
4 cups of snow, avoid the yellow stuff
1 cup of milk
1 tsp of vanilla extract
1/4 cup of sugar
Hugh says if you would rather have Snow Cream that tastes more like commercial ice cream substitute the cup of milk and 1/4 cup of sugar for a cup of sweetened condensed milk.
Stir it up well and enjoy! We sure did!
|Only one serving of Snow Cream left!|
Thank you Hugh!
Now, to get back to the important business of Snow Day!
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
I'm having a really difficult day working in a Day Job that makes me feel creatively underutilized, unappreciated, and trapped. This morning on my way up the stairwell to deliver a pile of error entries to an upstairs department a coworker from yet another department stops me.
She compliments my Facebook posts and tells me, "I live for your posts. Along with my dogs they are the highlight of my day. I live for them. You have a real talent with words and writing that needs to be cultivated."
Wow, y'all! She made me tear up. I could wallow in self-pity, anger, hopelessness, and disappointment by telling you all the crap I'm trudging through, just like everyone else. But, look at that, God showed me a rainbow during the storm.
Thank you, Coworker. I needed that more than you know.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
In preparation for my day date with The Silver Fox this afternoon I got up early this morning to color my hair. I don't need her telling me my edges are sparkly.
I bought this box of hair color that was supposed to color my hair fire engine red.
Instead, it turned my hair black with a red overcast.
We get in the car and she says, "You know I don't like your hair so dark. It's black. When I was young it was the easy girls that wore their hair so dark. It reminds me of the easy girls."
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Today is a day that will live in infamy!!
Maverick and Phaedra collaborated on planning and making supper without any help from me. The Dinner Calendar only had her name on it and a blank where the dinner plans go.
It's a miracle! A God-damned miracle!!!
What did we eat? Cheesy Tuna Mac with a side item or as I like to refer to it, desert. For my dining pleasure, if you so please, everyone is allotted one Reece's Peanut Butter Egg.
I know what you're thinking, "but Averill, you're over 30. If you eat chocolate this late you'll never get a restful night's sleep."
Shut up and keep your comments to yourself!! Don't bring us down. The Little Rottens were beaming with absolute pride over their meal planning. I am too!
It's dinner and dessert!
To think I thought this day would never come!