Friday, May 1, 2015

A Wedding Story

This week one of my friends shared with me the story of how she got married. I enjoy this story so much, I let her tell me every time she feels like sharing. 

We knew each other since we were in middle school and high school. He used to run with my brother, but we were best friends. We dated but moved on and lost touch. I had kids. He had kids. But, we found each other again a few years ago. It felt exactly the same from all those years ago. And I knew, all those years of being with the wrong person and not being interested in anyone but being happy by myself and he changed it like this is what it's supposed to be like. 

We woke up one morning. I didn't know I was getting married, but it was my wedding day. He sat up in bed and said, "I can't wait any longer to be your husband. I want you to be my wife. I can't, won't, let you get away again. Will you marry me?"

I shook my head yes, because I thought about it, you know because I never wanted to be married to my kids father but to him I could see it, "Yeah, I'll marry you." She smiles sweetly and blushes over a topic so intimate.

"Good. Call in sick to work. I'm going to marry you today. I can't wait."

So, we got dressed, just in blue jeans and t-shirts, nothing extraordinary. I called in sick to work and I found myself married to him that day. 

What's your story?

Walmart, Raleigh, TN

First of all, I understand this is completely my fault for even stepping foot in the Walmart in Raleigh. But I'm having issues with my tire and that's the most convenient Walmart to go to as I pass it every day to and from work. 

Let me first tell you that I have a hundred percent warranty on my tires. Somehow last week I managed to run over a nail it curved around in a U-shaped inside my tire and popped back out. The problem is it's too close to the tire wall to repair it. So they had to order a new tire on Tuesday. I've been refilling my tire with air every day this week and calling Walmart to see if my new tire has arrived. 



Today I call and Mr. George answers the phone. He tells me that the computer says the tires here but he has too many customers so call him back in a half an hour to give him time to check for the tire to put his hands on it. I give them 50 minutes before I call back. Nobody answers the phone it goes to the operator. She text me back through the tires again it rings continuously until it goes back to her. The operator picks up the phone again and ask where I need to go and I said the tire department she puts me on hold and never sends me back through. 

I'm already a tad irritated but I understand it's May first everybody got new EBT cards, checks came in, Social Security came in... so now everybody with new money has the means to get their issues taken care of - I completely understand that. 

Mr. George behind the counter is trying the best you can even though he moves slowly. They have my tire, he takes my keys, we get situated there are five people in front of me. Cool. I sit in the waiting area and make friends with the other ladies that are sitting there playing candy crush. 

Yes I'm that person that talks to strangers that are trying to block out the world. Some lady even offers me her little, not listening, bad baby. We tight back there. 

They call my name and call me back into the shop saying there's a problem. They ordered the wrong tire for my car. Still I'm cool with this.  Let's get this corrected, order the right tire, and put it on my car. 

Naturally, by this time I've spent hours spanning two evenings up in the Raleigh Walmart. I am very calm. I ask Mr. George and Jerry the Customer Service Manager, who are both standing behind the counter, "Is there anything y'all can do about getting me a discount for this tire considering the inconvenience I've had to endure?"

Neither one of them answer me. I know I just spoke out loud. I know they could hear me because they both make eye contact with me.  Still no answer. 

Jerry the Customer Service Manager turns out from behind the counter and starts walking away from the tire department. 

Y'all my calm is gone!

"What? You don't speak to people when they talk to you?"

The other men, customers, around the counter take a collective step backwards to disappear into the wall.

Jerry the Customer Service Manager stops dead in his tracks, turns back and looks at me like 'who da fuk you talkin' to?' I return the look. 

He responds, "I don't do that? I'm just a Customer Service Manager.
You need a manager."

"I don't know this. I'm a customer, your tag says customer service manager." I stopped myself from saying, 'manage some customer service.'

Jerry the Customer Service Manager turns his head. Makes eye contact with a male customer. Looks back at me and rolls his eyes. He starts walking away. He looks at that male customer again and says something about me as he skitters off down the isle. 

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

I look at the three closest men including the customer he said it to after he smirked. Their ears must be broken because they all said, "I don't know. I don't know what he said."

I look at Mr. George, "Call the store manager, I need to speak to the store manager."

Jessica the Assistant Manager eventually arrives and takes care of it. She seems to be a Walmart Princess Fairy Angel. I will see. 

Still, I feel this could have been avoided if I had not gone to this Raleigh Walmart. 

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Throwback Thursday

#tbt #siblingwars 


"Hey, I bet you can't push me off this bed while I'm jumping!" 


Jump! Jump! 


On the third jump I lunge with my arms straight out and land a solid push directly into his stomach which sends Trey flying across the bedroom directly into the 90 degree corner jutting out to form the wall for the closet. He landed with a thud against the wall and rolled into the closet. That is usually the sort of noise that sends parents running towards the commotion, but not my parents. Trey touched the back of his head and came back with blood on his hand. He began to cry. That is when my parents came into our shared bedroom. 


The Silver Fox wants to know, "What happened?" 


"I pushed him off the bed while he was jumping. He told me to try to push him off." 


"You know better than to dare your sister to do anything. She's going to do it!And you're not supposed to be jumping on the bed!" 


So, Trey got in trouble and he had to get stitches. Since then, we keep the dares to a minimum. 


Friday, March 27, 2015

The Silver Fox's New Clothes

I hear the The Silver Fox in the kitchen after coming home from work. I wobble in there holding the side of my head that feels like it is collapsing from a sinus headache. Her back is to me. The entire back of her shirt is completely see-through!! 

"Mom! You're getting slutty today!"

"No! Jasmine came up to me at work  and said my shirt was sheer and I told her, 'Don't you give me that! My shirt is light weight but it's completely solid!' Now you're telling me it's sheer too."

"Mom, I can see your bra right through your shirt!"

"Paul, is my shirt see-through?"

He's busying himself loading stuffed peppers into Tupperware for next week's sack lunches and gives his standard, "Ehhh-eh ehhh." Which means, anything from 'I'm not paying attention' to 'I don't know about fashion,' or 'It's just how it is, I thought that's how you wanted it,' you know the safe answer. 

"Mom, that poor Jasmine is probably thinking you're a crazy old bat that doesn't even know what you're wearing! 

"Oh well."

"Next thing you know your employees are going to think they can wear sheer clothing to work too. Go stand in the light so I can take your picture."



She poses, "Let me see it!" she demands. "Oh well. It's not that bad.You can delete that picture any time now. I still say it's not that bad."

It's funny how with all of this laughter my headache and prolapsed cranium has disapated. But, I still say, The Silver Fox in her Emperors New Clothes is going to have that Christian store looking like a dance club on Saturday night! Eww-op! Eww-op! 

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Full Monty

Moving back into my parents house at this age has some real advantages. Like when I come home late they always leave a light on for me. Or this morning when I was running late for work and ran through the kitchen to find that my lunch was already made. Or this evening when I came home from work and class to find that dinner was left warming for me. That is all so very cool and appreciated.

I fixed myself a plate of crockpot roast beef and sit down at the kitchen table to eat supper. The Silver Fox wakes up from her nap and moseys into sit at the kitchen table. While she and I are talking, Real Life Superman comes into the kitchen and slides into a chair. All of a sudden he stands up, revealing that he is only wearing tidy whiteys. He pulls those jokers up like Ed Grimly-style revealing the Full Monty and disappears into the garage looking for a toothpick. I look at The Silver Fox. She looks at me. We burst out laughing. Then I say, "I didn't know I was going to get dinner and a show."

"Well, if you weren't here he'd probably just be buck naked."

Moving back in with my parents has some real advantages, others are just eye-opening experiences that no child should endure.  


Monday, March 16, 2015

Fancy Wrapping

Last week, when Max was in town, it also happened to be his older brother Allister's birthday. Auntie Averill hates wrapping presents. I'm the person that throws a birthday gift in any old recycled gift bag, no matter the decoration or holiday on the bag. If your gift is on-time and wrapped it is a miracle! 

Last week I took Allister's birthday gift out to my parent's house because The Silver Fox offered to wrap it and deliver it to the birthday party. Yes!! 

The Silver Fox had Max wrap the gift as one of their activities to occupy this busy little four year old's time. Max picked out the color of the wrapping paper. Max determined how much paper to use. Max taped the paper. It's not bad for four years old. When it was all done TSF asked Max if they should include a bow. Max, of course was ecstatic to add a red bow. He took off the protective paper and had that bow slapped on the gift before she knew it. At this point he turns to her and says, "I think Al likes all the colors."

 Of course, as a good Gran will do, she let Max put as many bows as he wanted to decorate Allister's 11th birthday gift. 

Max was unbelievably proud of his new wrapping skills and delighted to show them off at the birthday party. 

Happy birthday Allister! 

Max is slapping on the bows, photo courtesy of Real Life Superman. 

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Snow Cream

Some times I miss those winter days of going to high school in West Virginia. You know with real snow and actually getting snowed in. Since Memphis was hit by an ice and snow storm last night, work was cancelled today. It's a Snow Day!!! 
Our front yard and the neighbor's house. It's real snow!

Memphis has real snow. That means Snow Cream and reminiscing of those snowed in slumber parties with one of my high school BFF! 

I have Wookie fur on my boots! No Wookie's were actually harmed in the making of these boots.

Vintage Tupperware is used as the vehicle to capture snow.
This morning one of my Besties, Hugh, made Snow Cream and shared the recipe. I immediately ran outside to collect my snow! 
What do you know? It only takes five minutes at the most to make, serve, and devour the Snow Cream. It's delicious!! 

Here is Hugh's recipe: 

4 cups of snow, avoid the yellow stuff
1 cup of milk
1 tsp of vanilla extract
1/4 cup of sugar

Hugh says if you would rather have Snow Cream that tastes more like commercial ice cream substitute the cup of milk and 1/4 cup of sugar for a cup of sweetened condensed milk. 

Stir it up well and enjoy! We sure did! 
Only one serving of Snow Cream left!
Thank you Hugh! 

Now, to get back to the important business of Snow Day!