Monday, August 22, 2016

Do Not Trust The Silver Fox

Three reasons why I do not trust #TheSilverFox:

1. There was no full-length mirror when I tried on this dress and she put on the sales tactics. 

2. I asked her if it was see-through. She said, "No! Just wear some type of slip. It's so cute!! You have to get it!!! You'll regret it if you don't!!" 

This dress is 153% opac! You can see my insides!!! I'm wearing some sort of Bridget Jones underclothing contraption and it's hot!! 

3. "Mom, what about the length? Is is too short?"

"No! Put your arms down. It's perfect. The skirt is longer than your arms."

Mom did not take into consideration that I have T-Rex length arms. If I dance in this dress....well, I'll just quote Jeff on this one, "You gotta shave to wear that dress, and I'm not saying you'll have to shave your legs."

#DontTrustTheSilverFox #GoodThingIm78PercentLegs

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