Monday, September 23, 2013

No Butts About It!

This evening J2 walked out of the bedroom and I push the the door closed, lift up my skirt, and readjust my tank top. The tank top is really long, down to my hips, but had ridden up around my waist. I pull it and wiggle my dress back down quickly. 

Phaedra, who is laying on the bed watching me asks, "What's wrong with your butt?" 

It's flat. Do you like how the suit sags at the bottom?
Completely unselfconscious I respond, "Why? What's wrong with it? It wasn't sunburned or maybe it's a tan line. Is there a scratch on it or my leg? I have mosquito bites on my leg. I dunno. What's wrong with it?" I turn like a dog chasing an imaginary tail.

"No! Nothing's wrong with it! It's just so SMALL! How'd you get it so small? And flat?" Exasperated she yells, "It's so FLAT!" In a teasing tone she torments me, "You ain't got no booty at all!"

I've completed hundreds and thousands of squats in my lifetime and a thousand this year. I've been attempting to achieve donkey booty status and still I got nothin' but torment from a 13 year old! 

No butts about it, there go my aspirations of being a rap-guys' girlfriend. 

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