Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Friends, Can You Have Them?
I stop at Kmart after class. I know that's creepy but they always have super cute tights. And because I am practically the only one in the store I like to pretend I am famous and they have shut the store down for me to shop in privacy.
I put my tights and leggings on the conveyor belt not really paying attention to the employee making his purchases in front of me. He walks back past me, taking his purchases back into the store. I check out, walk all the way back to the exit. I buzzed on the way in so before I even crossed the threshold to leave I warn the same old lady greeter, "I'm gonna set off the alarms."
"Come on through."
Something in my bag sends the alarms buzzing again.
"I'm going to need to examine your receipt."
I pull my giant wallet, full only of Christmas shopping receipts, out of my purse. She takes a look at the folded paper. She makes her secret "it's okay she actually purchased the stuff in her bag" Kmart mark.
I'm wrestling to jamb this wallet back into my shifting bag while my camera bag in digging into my skin around my neck, and holding the weak, plastic Kmart bag is wiggling back and forth.
I turn in to the breezeway to go. There looking at the claw game is the employee who made his purchase before I did. He looks in my direction like he has been waiting for me.
I smile at him.
"I just have to tell you how beautiful you are."
"I bet you hear that all of the time. Do you hear it often?"
I blush because I do hear it often. However, I don't want to sound conceited, "I don't hear it as often as I'd like to," and that is the truth.
By this point he and I have switched places. I am trying to get out to my car and he is standing just inside the automated sliding doors, "Do you have friends?"
"Yes, but all of my friend are taken."
He raises his voice, "No. I said, 'Can you have a friend?'"
With a deer in headlights look on my face I shrug my shoulders. Then I start laughing, this young boy thinks he is Biz Markie! I momentarily stop laughing. I wonder if he even knows who is Biz Markie? Ah, hell! Biz Markie is funny to me!